#042: Coping is hard

Is this how high school is going to end and college is going to begin? I've lost two friends in these past few months. Whether or not it's my fault depends on the situation. I've put myself at the feet of one recent one, hoping she'll forgive whatever I did to offend her, and now I'm questioning whether or not doing that was the right thing when I'm also questioning whether the way she's been treating me is right or not. I don't know what's going on with my other friend. We're not okay, but we're not closed to conversation either. After some thinking, I'm not sure we'll ever be close again. Somehow, I don't know if I'm okay with that.

Why do I never KNOW?

These are terrible feelings. I'm leaving my family in a few days to go overseas, and coping with all of this at the same time is so hard. Why do I cry so easily? I should be stronger.

#041: Me + you

Okay. I admit it. I've fallen head over heels in love with Glee. When it first came out, and pretty much everyone and their dog was talking about it, I thought the hype was just hype. So I waited it out, past the finale, when I couldn't have seen more !!!!!! ♥♥♥ SO AMAZING all over my Facebook newsfeed. I just started yesterday, and I confess that it is every bit as good as all the hype it got. It's just an amazing show, with amazing characters who each have a distinctive voice... pun intended!


I love the show for everything, but especially this couple. Will and Emma aren't just a cute couple, they are THE perfect couple. I can't ever get enough of Jayma Mays and her remarkable fashion sense, and Matt Morrison is just ... well, Matt Morrison, with margarine hair, as Sue so eloquently puts it, and that amazing smile.


Heck, they're probably the reason why I plow through episodes, to find scenes where they're together. Wemma/Wilma is just amazing. When Terri was around, I wanted to fling an anvil at my wall every time she opened her mouth. But Emma and Will really belong together... it's a beautiful thing to see them in the show together.

I'm still hopping around the first season, weaning out the Wemma scenes and balancing Kurt, Finn, and Quinn in between. Watching Glee, surprisingly, wasn't just a serenade number with bellowing vocals every episode. It has depth, real character, and for the first few episodes, I was stressed out, watching the characters through their waves of emotional development. I still don't like Rachel very much (you can ask Joyce why), but the others have definitely come a long way, which I applaud! I really love Quinn, and I had waterfalls down my cheeks when her parents threw her out. I like her clothes. In my heart, Finn and Quinn still belong together... I don't really ship any other OTP (except, obviously, Wemma) besides them.

And that's what you missed! on GLEE.

#040: 冰淇淋。

Lately I've been spending time at my cousins' house; which, as a matter of fact, is where I currently am. My uncle recently had heart surgery and needs someone to be in the house to take care of him at all times. Since my aunt and cousin both work weekdays, my mom and I come over to help out.

I usually never abuse my food privileges. I hardly ever mooch and eat sparingly when it's not mine, or when I eat at someone's house. But my aunt told me plain out to help myself to anything I wanted in the fridge, and I remember opening the freezer and seeing five cartons of ice cream just sitting there on their little paper container bottoms, almost teasing me to eat them. Well, why not...

So it's here where I discovered the heavenly blessings bestowed by coffee and java chip ice cream. There was also strawberry sorbet and vanilla bean, but I still like coffee ice cream best. It's really so good! It's my new guilty pleasure.

I've never babysat anyone before, but I assume this "help yourself" business is a routine with people who do so. Hehe, I love food. I try not to eat too much when I can help it, but in general, food is my bliss. I'm trying to moderate what I eat closely nowadays, because not surprisingly, the guilty pleasure food is usually the bad kind. I think counting calories is a waste of time and not effective at all; I only use it for the expression, but eating healthy and exercising regularly is the way to go for me.

I've also been thinking up wild recipes as of late, except my mother is kind of wary of me oven-roasting peaches on top of a granola crust ("isn't granola already baked, anyway?"), so I think I'll do a little more thinking and come up with something less disaster-prone. Chocolate chip cookies, maybe.

#039: 海岸。

You're so beautiful. Don't forget that.
你好美好。絕不要忘了。
vous êtes belle. ne l'oublie pas.

#038: 永遠不簡單。

forever isn't easy, but it's one wish away.

Home is where I've been for five days. In many ways I missed home, but coming back here has helped me resurface a lot of the disgust I have for the culture here. Don't get me wrong, I missed good ol' In-n-Out, but... isn't that how we describe all the culture this place has—food? It's pretty sad, so I still miss the culture I left, too.

Friends leave for college soon, so our group has been planning hangouts like crazy. Lunch with cousins tomorrow, dinner and movie with the girls on Sunday, visiting Leland on Monday, hiking sometime next week, and I think I was supposed to go 1. watch Inception 2. bike riding 3. to San Francisco with Elizabeth sometime soon.

Family has been well. My uncle had heart surgery the last few days we were in Taiwan, but he's doing much better. We went to visit him straight from the airport, but he told us to go home because we hadn't been in two months. My dad's birthday was yesterday (on Taiwan time) and we sent him a video, per usual. My mom's caught a small cold, so I think I'm going to stay home with her this afternoon, though I would really love to go out.

Schoolwork ... heh, heh. Let's not talk about that because I haven't been studying.

How are you? I hope you are well.

#037: 大城市紐約。

I love The New Yorker. The minimalist page design, the arts and culture, the fiction and poetry, even the logo, everything about it is so lovely. Reading it online won't suffice; I need to hold the actual issue, each one, in my hands, before I'm fully satisfied. I would venture as to subscribe to it even though I'm currently in Taiwan, but I can't believe I didn't fall in love with this magazine earlier.

#036: 午休。

I came to work with Dad today and stayed in the library for the entire morning. At noon I went to the café for lunch and I had bacon alfredo linguini, corn and potato chowder, and warm hazelnut milk tea. mmmm, Chinese-style Western food is the best—not too much cream or sugar and gets along wonderfully with my waistline.

#035: 翅膀。

其實談談小戀愛還不錯的。
我覺得喜歡一個人是一件很美好的事情。
要勇敢一點。

— 一頁台北

p.s. 今天校長女兒打電話給我喔。;A;